


Tears

by EmilyoftheDrums



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Academy Era, Angst, Crying, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 19:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1481068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyoftheDrums/pseuds/EmilyoftheDrums
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koschei can't be strong much longer, and Theta is determined to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears

Koschei had to hold them back. He could feel the hot stinging in his eyes, the wet lump in his throat. He could feel that little knot of pain in his stomach growing larger and tighter by the second. 

But Theta was on the other bed in their room, idly tinkering and not paying him much attention. He had to be strong for Theta. If he gave in, Theta would think he was weak, he wouldn't respect him. Theta would know how afraid he was. How afraid of the constant rhythm in his head, one two three four, one two three four, over and over and over and he was going mad, he knew. 

So he pushed the tears down, and let them solidify into a hard lump, and he added that lump to the pile of other lumps in his chest that stacked up and rose to form a mountain, a hidden volcano that would one day blow it's top and when it did that, Koschei thought, it would probably kill him. 

Right now, though all that mattered was hiding himself. Hiding any and all weakness away from the world, and Theta. Especially Theta. 

Splash. 

The droplet hit the back of his hand and startled Koschei out of his daze. No. No, he had to stop crying. His vision was swimming and his face was prickly and this was everything he had be working against. No. He fought to contain himself, hoping Theta hadn't noticed his temporary lapse of control. 

No such luck. The younger boy was looking at him concernedly, and when he saw Koschei had noticed, he slid off the bed and walked over to Koschei's, sitting down with a creak on the edge. 

"Go away." Koschei muttered through gritted teeth, edging in the opposite direction to his friend. 

"Kosch..? What-what's wrong?" Theta moved closer again, closing the distance between them and putting an arm comfortingly around the shoulder of the older boy. Koschei never cried, and Theta wasn't sure what to do in this situation. 

Although he flinched a little, Koschei made no attempt to move Theta's arm, secretly glad for the kind touch.   
"It's nothing, Theet. Just- it's just school getting to me, that's all." He dropped his head, avoiding eye contact. 

"Koschei Oakdown, you are a terrible liar. Tell me the problem! I'm not moving until you do."

Koschei sighed wearily, wishing Theta would give up but also not wanting him to leave him alone with his thoughts once again.   
"It's nothing honestly...." He trailed off at Theta's disbelieving look.   
"Ok, fine. I've been getting some..some really bad..ah..headaches lately and with that as well as school everything has just been piling up and I can't handle it anymore...." It wasn't a lie, really. He just wasn't telling his friend the whole truth. 

"Oh, Kosch.." Theta gave him a sympathetic look and moved even closer. He could see in his eyes that he wasn't telling him the whole truth, but it didn't matter. Right now, he just wanted to comfort the older boy. 

Koschei felt another tear track a hot path down his face as he saw the expression on Theta's face. He looked sympathetic, yes, but also a little lost, a little confused. He wanted to confide in the boy, he really did, but he was terrified he would think he was mad, that he would be scared, that he would leave and run away. He wouldn't lose him. He couldn't lose him. So he just slumped forwards, colliding with Theta's chest. 

Theta caught him, surprised, but didn't question it, instead pulling him into a tight hug, realising that although it was so often the other way around, right now, the older boy needed his help. 

They stayed there for a while, Koschei crying softly into Theta's robes while Theta held him tightly, a welcome rock in the tumultuous sea of helplessness and fear that was the older boy's mind. 

Eventually Koschei had no more tears to give, and just half-sat, half-lay on Theta, shaking and exhausted. The calm and controlling mask had long since slipped, and he once again felt like the scared little boy who had stepped in front of the Untempered Schism all those years ago. 

"Theta?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me, you won't leave me?"

"Of course I won't, what do--"

"Just promise. Please."

"Ok, Koschei. I promise I will never leave you." Theta spoke the words calmly enough, but his brown eyes were sad, as if he somehow knew that he would never be able to keep this promise.


End file.
